FRIDAY!!! :) WoW! Another week gone! I have been getting rid of the extra furniture and clearing out the extra junk. It will make moving to the 1 br easier. I still have no idea if I am going to stay in this building or go to another, but faithfully I know it will be ok where ever it is.
Bytchin a Bit - Forgive me:
I am becoming an insomniac - I can't seem to get to sleep at night. The seasons are changing and the weather changes drastically fast, so that is normal. The anxiety and panic attacks I am having recently are driving me nuts. (that is a short trip - :) Truly I went back on Abilify just to get a reign on the issue. I also am adjusting to the Effexor again after years of being on a different anti-depressant.
I hope I can get a handle on the extreme anxiety (it is the same feeling you would have if you suddenly woke up and found a man with an ax getting ready to chop you up in your sleep standing over you.) It goes on for hours and can be really crippling if you allow it to be.
I know/realize it is a serious chemical imbalance and is irrational, so I force myself to do the things I need to do. That is very hard, but I am proof it can be done. Hopefully, the medication change will be enough to get it under control. Until it does though it is seriously important for me to pick my battles carefully, monitor and limit my interactions with others (dual care - for all of us) and rest.
Some say the mentally ill do not know they are ill. Often they know and are in denial. They feel as if the diagnosis is one they can do nothing about - much as cancer was 40 years ago. With a bit of education and proactive self care management as well as stability becomes possible for most. Therapy and meds are not a win win or huge joy, but they are massively important if one has serious issues an wants that stability to become a reality. I have maintained stability since 2006. There have been maybe 3 times since I needed to go in and have meds and services adjusted, but really that is just part of the maintenance process. It is not a failure - just an adjustment.
While many are talking about violence, gun control, and the impact of the society's issues on the children coming up, it is massively important that the stopping the silence about violence public campaign encourage the survivors to tell their stories. Not for the benefit of the survivor, but to save those trapped in the situations we so want to stop. We can't fix what we don't know. There s no shame in keeping or making the drama tame.
We must make this a conversation - "for what is done in the dark shall indeed be found in the light." <-- Jesus